Life Support System

Friends, relationships, social organizations, and men - What do you need? How do you nurture it when you find it?

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin

I don't agree with all of Rev. T.D. Jakes' interpretations about male/female relationships, but I do agree with this simple, partial breakdown of the different types of friends. This is good information to have before mistaking the attention of a comrade or constituent for that of a confidant.

1.  CONFIDANTS – You have very few of them – these are people who welcome you unconditionally. They are into you whether you are up or down, right or wrong, they are in it for the long haul. You can share anything with them. Having a good confidant is one of the keys that unlock the Kingdom.

These are people who you can share your deepest and darkest inner thoughts with, who won’t judge you but will feed you instead of draining you.

Have you ever had relationships where the person was emotionally immature and consistently draining you? It’s okay to help others but you must have someone who feeds you so you can feed someone else. They will confront you; they’ll get in your business and get in your face and tell you when you are wrong BUT will also come back and be by your side no matter what. They will never leave.

2.  CONSTITUENTS - They are not into you but are into what you are FOR. They are for what you are for. As long as you are for what they are for they will be with you but never think they are for you. If they meet someone else that will meet their agenda they will hook up with them and leave you. Don’t mistake a constituent for a confidant. By the time you fall in love or are connected with them in a relationship, they will hook up with someone else and break your heart, leaving you wondering, “I thought our relationship was deeper than that.”

3.  COMRADES - These are not for you nor are they for what you are for. They are just against what you are against. They are strange bedfellows. They are the enemy of your enemy who will team up with you to help you fight a greater enemy. They will only be with you until the victory is accomplished.

They are like scaffolding that is there until the building is built but is later removed because the building is built. Don’t be upset when they leave. They were not supposed to be there anyway. Don’t tell your dream to your constituents they will try to fulfill the dream without you. Don’t tell your dream to your comrades because they will not support you because they are not for you in the first place.

You won't see this often, but I guess I'm on a bit of a T.D. Jakes binge when it comes to friendship. LOL He really does have some insightful information on the subject, though. Look at these six qualities of a good friendship. Like the three types of friendships, I'd add a few things to this list of qualities, but it's still a good start. Tell me what you think.