School’s In Session: Three Things That Just Might Make Your Life Easier

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School’s In Session: Three Things That Just Might Make Your Life Easier

The pitter patter of little and…well…not so little feet, the rush, rush of appointments, sports events, private lessons, and the maddening results of disorganization  – “Mom! Have you seen my socks? Uniforms? Skinny jeans?” School is in session, family holidays are right around the corner, and speaking of disorganization, let’s talk about three things you can do right now that just might make everybody’s life a little easier (especially yours).

• Specifically related to school, attend Parent/Teacher Association (PTA) meetings and conferences. Take an active role in your child’s education.

Everyone is extremely busy these days. In fact, seems as if we’re busier now than we’ve ever been (could it have something to do with cell phones? Technology in general?), but despite our “busy-ness,” studies show that the number one difference between high-achieving and low-achieving students in grades K-12 is the level of parent involvement.

This doesn’t mean you have to quit your job and hang around the school, but it does mean it’s important to take an active role in your child’s education by attending meetings and award ceremonies whenever possible, discussing your expectations with your child, encouraging him/her with your presence, and engaging help whenever it’s needed. Our children learn by what we do, not what we say. It’s a sacrifice of time and effort, but well worth it.

• Consistently follow-through with clear consequences for actions

Let’s face it; we all learn by the consequences of our actions. Discuss and set boundaries, clearly state (and write) expectations, and collaborate on rewards. This applies to more than school, of course. Inconsistent environments breed neurosis, so keep it steady and stick to your guns.

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• Organization, Please

Organization takes a bit more time on the front end, but saves an infinite number of hours once things are in place. Everything should have a home. Stores like Ikea and California Closets specialize in organization. Doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money, but they’re great places to visit in person or online for ideas.

Organization not only applies to things and space, but to time and priorities as well. One of the first workshops I facilitated with incoming college students was study skills. A big part of that class pertained to organization using calendars and cell phone apps. It’s amazing how much time people lose simply because they’re not organized.

Google has all kinds of free calendars to help with time management, Jibidee is an online calendar site, and smart phones have fantastic calendar features as well as alarm clocks.

A few years ago, I had a 12 year old voice student with one of the most beautiful voices I’d ever heard, but her priorities were way out of whack. For a child, that’s quite normal, but her parents didn’t have the heart to set boundaries. She’d cancel her lessons to ride her bike with her friends, play games with her cousins, etc., yet she and her parents said she really enjoyed her voice lessons (when she was there), and she really wanted to be a professional singer.

It’s called “living in the moment,” and that’s what children do best, but part of growing up is learning to set priorities. Unfortunately, I eventually had to tell her parents I could no longer teach her. Her problem was poor or nonexistent prioritization skills. That’s where her parents should have taken the reins. Poor prioritization can cause your child to miss a multitude of opportunities, even scholarship opportunities.

One final note on organization – establish a homework routine including a specific time and place to do homework. An organized work area like the picture above or any space that offers a place for everything your child needs to work efficiently with minimal interruptions. Stores like Wal-Mart, Target, and of course, Ikea (link above) offer great inexpensive solutions.

Next time we’ll talk about more homework solutions.

Feel free to comment and suggest. I love to hear from you J

Visit often and click "For Our Future" page for related topics

Snack Well and Live Well : 20 Healthy, Delicious Snacks

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Snack Well and Live Well : 20 Healthy, Delicious Snacks

One of the toughest challenges for most of us is finding the best way to eat healthy – not just for weight loss, but for feeling our best and living productive lives. It’s impossible to accomplish anything when your energy level is at rock bottom because your body doesn’t have the correct fuel. Bottom line, some foods are better for our bodies than others, and it’s important to pay attention to your body’s signals. Our bodies are programmed to function as the perfect system, each organ working to make the whole better. The body is made to prevent illness and even heal itself when we get sick, but it must have proper nutrition to do the job.

We’ve all watched people diet to lose a bunch of weight and end up putting whatever they lost plus more right back on. That’s because losing weight shouldn’t be the main goal in the first place. Living a fulfilling life is one of the most powerful goals we can focus on because it encompasses not only how we look, but how we feel. Life changes made to reach this goal must be sustainable. We’ll talk more about sustainable goals later, but for today, let’s start with some fun, tasty changes that are easy to make and maintain – snacks.

Too often, I hear people talking about diets that say things like “no snacking between meals.” Don't get me wrong; I understand where they're coming from, but... What? What world do these people live in? In our busy lives, snacks are essential. Really. So, here’s a list of snacks to help get anybody over the hump, satisfy cravings for sweet, salty, and savory, and the best part, they’re healthy. Most are old favorites, and you might find a new twist to liven-up a staple or two, no recipes necessary (in most cases).

Apple slices and cheese (I like mozzarella and cheddar)

Apple slices and reduced fat peanut butter

Grilled chicken strips with light ranch, honey mustard, or red pepper vinaigrette

Turkey and spinach meatballs – Ok, so a bit of a recipe here, but easy peasy. Here goes: 

Ground turkey, Bad Byron’s Butt Rub (I know. It’s a southern thang. You can use salt and pepper to taste instead, but believe me, Butt Rub is worth trying ;-), chopped onions, minced garlic, eggs (just enough to hold it all together). Bake on cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil) All ingredients to taste.

Gluten-free wheat crackers and Laughing Cow cheese

Gluten-free pita chips and tuna (you can use tuna salad with boiled eggs, chopped onions and light mayo, or just aluminum packed tuna without the extras)

Salmon and light cream cheese spread with chopped purple onions and flat bread (Pink salmon also comes in aluminum packs you don’t have to drain)

Strawberry crepes with fresh strawberries, light cream cheese, and yogurt

Graham crackers and grapes

Banana pudding bites - Nilla wafers, banana slices, and cool whip

Fruit and yogurt smoothies (variety is the spice of life, but my fave is frozen strawberries and bananas w/Almond Breeze unsweetened) – If you need to sweeten it, use Truvia, Sweet Leaf, or Splenda instead of refined sugar. Honey’s also fine.

Chicken quesadillas with chunky salsa

Snack mix – (whole grain cereal, pretzels, popcorn, nuts, raisins, cranberries)

Fat-free yogurt and graham crackers

Fat-free yogurt and fruit with toasted whole-grain waffles

Hummus and turkey pita pockets

Baked cinnamon apples with raisins and real butter (yep, use the real stuff)

Blackberry crepes with cream cheese (trick here is to buy ready-made crepes)

Oatmeal/squash bread (okay. Second recipe, but it’s easy too)

1 cup each oats & butternut squash
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 1/4 cups skim milk
2 egg whites
2 tablespoons honey
½ cup applesauce

Fruit yogurt with bran cereal or something like All Fiber (Raisin Bran is good, too, but higher in refined sugar)

Go forth, and snack well ;-)

Visit often and click on "Nurturing our Souls and Bodies" page for more health-related articles

Qi-Fulfillment

Ever notice that women still do most of the cooking and decorating in the average home, yet most famous chefs and home decorators are men? Women are the main connoisseurs of make-up, hairstyles and fashion, yet most famous make-up artists, hairstylists, and fashion designers are...you guessed it. Why is that? There are a number of reasons - some good, some not so good, and this page is dedicated to women for those very reasons. We'll discuss some of them as we go, but first, let's talk about qi.  

Qi is the Chinese term used for life force, vital energy. It exists within every living thing. Qi also connects all living things. Akin to chakras, auras, yin and yang, each person's qi is unique and requires nurturing. All human beings are multi-faceted, always juggling responsibilities and roles in search of balance, so this site is about finding that balance, fulfilling our qi or life force, and basically thriving.

The four pages: For our future, Life support system, Nurturing our souls and bodies, and Purposeful endeavors, are designed to offer tips to find balance in each area of our lives. The site is still under construction, but feel free to browse, ask questions and offer comments. Oh, and lurking is fine, too ;-) I look forward to getting to know you better. 

Building a Healthy Support System: Quoting T.D. Jakes on Friendship

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin

I don't agree with all of Rev. T.D. Jakes' interpretations about male/female relationships, but I do agree with this simple, partial breakdown of the different types of friends. This is good information to have before mistaking the attention of a comrade or constituent for that of a confidant.

1.  CONFIDANTS – You have very few of them – these are people who welcome you unconditionally. They are into you whether you are up or down, right or wrong, they are in it for the long haul. You can share anything with them. Having a good confidant is one of the keys that unlock the Kingdom.

These are people who you can share your deepest and darkest inner thoughts with, who won’t judge you but will feed you instead of draining you.

Have you ever had relationships where the person was emotionally immature and consistently draining you? It’s okay to help others but you must have someone who feeds you so you can feed someone else. They will confront you; they’ll get in your business and get in your face and tell you when you are wrong BUT will also come back and be by your side no matter what. They will never leave.

2.  CONSTITUENTS - They are not into you but are into what you are FOR. They are for what you are for. As long as you are for what they are for they will be with you but never think they are for you. If they meet someone else that will meet their agenda they will hook up with them and leave you. Don’t mistake a constituent for a confidant. By the time you fall in love or are connected with them in a relationship, they will hook up with someone else and break your heart, leaving you wondering, “I thought our relationship was deeper than that.”

3.  COMRADES - These are not for you nor are they for what you are for. They are just against what you are against. They are strange bedfellows. They are the enemy of your enemy who will team up with you to help you fight a greater enemy. They will only be with you until the victory is accomplished.

They are like scaffolding that is there until the building is built but is later removed because the building is built. Don’t be upset when they leave. They were not supposed to be there anyway. Don’t tell your dream to your constituents they will try to fulfill the dream without you. Don’t tell your dream to your comrades because they will not support you because they are not for you in the first place.

You won't see this often, but I guess I'm on a bit of a T.D. Jakes binge when it comes to friendship. LOL He really does have some insightful information on the subject, though. Look at these six qualities of a good friendship. Like the three types of friendships, I'd add a few things to this list of qualities, but it's still a good start. Leave a comment to let me know what you think.

Genuineness. Friends “like” each other. There should be nothing fake about friendship. These healthy relationships are rooted in love, the bonds of which are trustworthy. It is never about what either party stands to gain, but all about just having that person in our lives. Friends are dependable and protective of each other’s interests.

Non judgmental: Friends love you just as you are! Always supportive, a friend’s business is not to criticize you, tell you what to do and how to do it, instead friends believe in each other, and have no hidden agendas. You should be able to throw all caution to the winds and just enjoy being around your friends. Interestingly, the Nurses’ Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that “the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to lead a joyful life“. The researchers concluded, that “not having close friends or confidants was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight“.

Loyalty. Friends will always have your back! Loyalty solidifies such relationships. Rarely is there back-biting, gossiping, and spitefulness; true friends never gloat over your mistakes or snicker when you fall. What makes friends so priceless is that they stand by each other and are always the first to lend a supporting hand. The last thing a friend of character would do is throw the other under the bus. Good friends are always in each other’s corner … and this comes naturally. If loyalty between you seems forced and does not come naturally, this might be a cue to rethink who this person is to you … your relationship just might fall in the category of a “mutually beneficial arrangement”.

Mutual respect. You are precious just as you are! It’s all about respecting and appreciating all the differences in character, personality, career paths, etc … and never wishing the other person was different. Most importantly, “changing” or “fixing” the other should never be on the agenda. A friend respects your thoughts even when they do not agree; and never thinks he/she is superior.

Open communication. Talk to me about anything! Unless it’s superficial, friends are not afraid to discuss deep-seated feelings, thoughts, vulnerabilities, dreams and fears — knowing there’s trust and love. Friends know how to listen and not make it all about “me”. You can afford to let your guard down around friends and simply be yourself.

Forgive and forget. I still love you … regardless! Things are not always perfect. Yes, there will be misunderstandings and arguments, but friends don’t let these stand in the way. Friends sometimes make mistakes and even when they let us down, we are still able to forgive and wipe the slate clean …  knowing that the intention was not really to cause pain. Hardly is there tension, mistrust, resentment between good friends.

Welcome!

Welcome to "Qi Fulfillment." The closest we come to the meaning of qi is life force or energy. I believe each of us strives for fulfillment, and the only way to find it is to feed our souls and make the most of our gifts and strengths. As women, we have unique challenges simply because we are female in a male dominated world. Our relative value is constantly challenged to the point that we begin to believe our physical appearance, no matter how beautiful, is never good enough, always wasting our exceptional mental energy on trivialities instead of embracing the life journey we've been given.

Everyone is born for a reason, and many of us spend our lives searching for that reason or purpose. Our ability or inability to accept who we are and take responsibility for our own becoming determines how we live, how we raise our children, and whether we fulfill God's purpose for our lives. We may not be able to articulate it as children, but the moment we start to observe the world around us, we wonder "What about me? How do I make my mark here? Well, that's the main subject of this blog.

I'm Dawn, and I'm a life coach/educational consultant. I spent years working long hours, making just enough money to keep up (sometimes), getting married and divorced, going to school, even completing all but my dissertation in a Ph.D. program, wearing the many hats we wear, always pursuing a better, happier life. Like many are taught, I was working for the future. You know the old saying, "work now, play later." I thought I'd have time later to do all the fun things I was putting off.

In June, 2005, my life changed, and any illusions I had about living for the future crashed and burned. I was diagnosed with kidney failure and started home-dialysis approximately two weeks later. As soon as I got off the phone with my doctor, I called my mother. She said, "Well, we're not going to cry about it." I still remember my response to her when she gave me the traditional diva-queen calmness -  "Well I am crying 'cause it's happening to me!"

I can laugh about it now, but the grieving process started then and nearly overtook my life for a long time. In that instant, I realized that I couldn't depend on the future I'd always dreamed about. No matter how hard I worked, my life would not be the picture-perfect existence I'd foreseen. Many things I'd planned to do when I no longer had to work so hard were no longer viable options or expectations, so in a sense, I was grieving over the loss of the life I'd planned.

What I've learned since my journey took such a sharp turn is that it's still my journey, but God's plan. Often, we don't have control over what is thrown into our lives, good or bad, but how we handle it is what makes us unique - what we do with whatever we've been given. So, how will you make your mark here? How will you be remembered?

As a life coach and educator, my focus is to make my life and the life of everyone around me the best it can be - to make the most of what we've been given, and to live life as fully as possible. Growing up, I always heard older people say "just makes my soul glad!" Now, I understand what they were talking about. We strive for certain things, mostly inanimate, to make our souls glad, but reveling in our unique journey offers the happy, fulfilling life.

I hope you'll join me on this journey that actually begins before conception. Nurtured by proper love, spiritual guidance, education, character development, and acceptance, we thrive. My goal is to help others achieve these qualities en masse, from pre-conception onward and upward. How will you fulfill God's plan for your life?